How to Cope with Special Needs Parent Depression
Parenting a Child with Special Needs
Many parents experience times of fatigue, loneliness and high levels of stress.
It is not uncommon for parents to put their health on the back burner as they care for their children.
This often leads to a lack of energy and feeling anxious or even hopeless at times.
Special needs parents face an entirely different level of stress as they navigate not only the typical responsibilities of parenthood, such as feeding, clothing, and general care of their children – but they also deal with a unique set of challenges related to the special needs of their child.
As children grow and become more independent, typical mothers get some relief from providing constant care and support to their children.
Special needs parents may be faced with a lifetime of caregiving for the complicated medical and other needs of their child.
We all know how important self-care is to maintain a sense of well-being.
Special needs parents, in particular, need to find realistic ways to practice self-care since there is a higher likelihood of caregiver burnout.
Parents of children with special needs tend to face a continuous barrage of challenges from isolation, financial strain, exhaustion, guilt, and hopelessness.
Over time, if these circumstances are not addressed, the stress of special needs parenting may turn into depression.
Special needs parent depression is more common than you think.
After all, parenting a child with special needs has been compared to the stress of a combat soldier.
It’s no wonder that we may experience symptoms similar to PTSD as parents of children with special needs endure chronic stress and overwhelm.
If you are a special needs mom struggling with depression, I want you to know that you are not alone.
Even in this day and age, there is a stigma surrounding depression and mental illness. It is often associated with weakness.
You, and I, are anything but weak.
It is especially difficult to admit that we, as mothers, struggle with depression.
You see, we are the caretakers. We are the ones to make it all better for our kids.
How can we possibly need help for ourselves?
There is danger in thinking this way.
If we just continue on without getting help for ourselves, we risk a complete and utter breakdown.
And then how useful will we be to our families?
Here are some signs of special needs parent depression:
- unhappy most of the time (but may feel a little better in the evenings)
- lost interest in life and difficulty enjoy anything
- more difficult to make decisions
- difficulty coping with things that never used to bother you
- exhaustion
- restlessness and agitation
- decreased appetite and weight loss (some people find they do the reverse and put on weight)
- takes 1-2 hours to get to sleep, and then wake up earlier than usual
- lost interest in sex
- low to no self-confidence
- feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless
- avoidance of other people
- irritable
- feel worse at a particular time each day, usually in the morning
- suicidal thoughts
If you experience a handful or more of these symptoms on a regular basis, it is a good idea to speak to your doctor.
We all have bad days and want to just power on and do what is best for our kids.
But let’s face it. Taking care of a special needs child is hard work.
Whether we want to believe it or not, taking care of ourselves is critical to the well-being and success of our children and families.
You may not even realize that what you are feeling is depression and that there is support for you.
You may be surviving, but just barely. I urge you to at least ask for help.
This special needs parent journey should not be taken alone.
Please reach out if you are feeling overwhelmed.
You can always connect with me via an email and I’d be happy to support you.
I’ve been there and I’m sure I’ll be there again.