Narcissists know how to berate, belittle, and argue their pants off. They know how to put someone down and make that person feel like they are less than they really are.
Narcs are masters of verbal abuse. It is a craft that they have mastered.
They can be the ones who do wrong and be able, through the power of complaining and blameshifting, get us to think we are the ones who did wrong.
Understand Narcs argue NOT to justify their actions — but to get us to take responsibility for their wrong doing.
It can feel very tempting to lash out verbally at a narc and get into a battle of denigration with them.
I mean defending ourselves is a natural response.
No one wants to sit there and be berated.
But in a battle with a narcissist, taking the high ground is the best defense — as you get a better perspective of their whole battle strategy.
When you are in proximity with a narc sometimes the only way to win is to attack them in a way they will not even consider.
This Is What You Say To A Narc To Hurt Them
If you want to hurt the narc, and really dig into their ego, then the best thing to say to them is…
NOTHING.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
WAIT before you click off.
Let me explain.
Narcs are psychological warriors.
You have to understand your enemy in order to fight properly.
When a narc lashes out at us verbally it is to make us feel like we are inferior.
If we stay and explain ourselves (by arguing back or by trying to talk calmly) we are showing them that they have power over us.
Why?
Because we are explaining ourselves to them. We show them subconsciously that they are some type of authority figure.
When we go full out arguing, and name-calling, that is when they win.
How?
Because that is when they break us. Narcs are hellbent on destroying our character. They do this because they have no characters themselves.
So when we argue and act like them that verifies to the narc that they can BREAK ANYONE.
Walking Away Is A Strength
Walking away is a strength. In a previous article on minesI talked about walking away from a narc.
I know for many, the idea of walking away after someone has hurt us seems like we are running away or letting them walk all over us.
But the truth of the matter is that when we walk away from a narc we are the stronger and better person.
We show them that we will NOT allow them to sully our character.
We show them that we will NOT be talked to like that.
We show them that we will NOT tolerate their childishness.
In walking away — and by not saying anything to a narc when they go on their childish verbal war — we remain 100% who we are.
We take ourselves out of that battle to which they are trying to wage against us…and we lose absolutely NOTHING.
The narc loves drama…don’t be a character, or spectator, of their drama.
Walk away and say NOTHING.